Don’t Let Ghosting Ruin Your Holidays
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It leaves you feeling confused wondering if you have done or said something wrong.
It also can affect your confidence and trust.
Over the Christmas and January holidays with being online more frequently, the chances of being ghosted are higher.
Ghosting isn’t about you.
This is hard to believe when we feel hurt, which is understandable. However, most times the problem is with the ghoster. They
- Don’t want a confrontation or know how to handle a disagreement so it is easy to cut you off.
- Don’t want to do the hard work of talking through differences.
Some research found that if a person believes in the Hollywood myth there is someone out there who is their soul mate and with whom they will live happily ever after, it is easier for them to ghost people. Why?
Because you are not their soul mate, and they need to get you out of their life so they can find this imaginary person.
If a person ghosts you, it is most likely because they cannot handle the discomfort of conflict, a misunderstanding or an emotional reaction, so it is easier to just disappear.
This is about them, not you.
Ghosting isn’t just on dating apps.
Ghosting doesn’t occur just on dating apps. It can happen in every area of life, with work colleagues, with friends and even with family members.
When friends have a disagreement or an argument and they are feeling hurt and angry, sometimes they feel it is easier to ghost one another than to try to resolve the issue.
Is ghosting always wrong?
Sometimes ghosting is the safest thing to do.
Where a person;
- Is intimidating you.
- Making you feel unsafe.
- Demanding you provide information or photographs of yourself that you are not comfortable with.
- Is becoming angry, or hostile towards you.
In these situations, it is important to ghost the other person.
How do I get over being ghosted?
- It is totally fine to feel hurt. If you have been ghosted after a falling out with a close friend, you will feel more hurt than if you have been ghosted by someone you met on line 4 days ago.
- No-one can make you feel worthless unless you allow them. This is the time to surround yourself with other family members and friends who value you and can remind you of your strengths.
- Try not to contact the ghoster to find out why. Accept you may never know why because that reason is with them not with you.
- Remember to do one or two things you enjoy during the day. This is about you doing what you enjoy.